Tag Archives: Spiritual Wisdom

When to Forgive

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Forgiveness is love. I have grappled with the notion of forgiveness over the past few years. I grew up in a very chaotic and dysfunctional household. There were drugs, abuse, hurtful words, stealing and backstabbing. So when I finally became an adult and decided to move out of my home with my parents I was bitter. I was angry at what happened to me, I was pissed at how my parents treated me. I was annoyed that no one reached out to help me; I felt isolated, rejected and misled. I didn’t believe in love and I for sure as hell didn’t believe in forgiving the people who were supposed to be my protectors. No, I would never forgive them.

And so I went about my life holding on to that hate and anger. And I spent a lot of time in therapy and I spent a little bit of time on medication. I got married then divorced a few short years later. I had to drop out of school. I was broke. I was miserable and the best I could do to help me feel better was to point the finger and blame. (Clearly at this point in my life I didn’t understand that I had the power to stop all of this nonsense by changing my mindset). 

Then the craziest thing happened. I started to pray. I prayed because, as I sat in a relative’s home feeling like a total waste of a person, I knew that I was meant to be and have more. I knew it in my gut. Do you know what God told me? “Release your parents, you were never the reason for the negative, you were always the cure”. There it was loud and clear. FORGIVE DAMMIT! But I wasn’t ready just yet. I had to reach for a better vibration within myself first. 

After 5 years of living a life of blame, I recently forgave them. I let it all go and since then life has been peaches and sweet tea. Delicious. I needed to be ready to forgive and the only way you can do that is to truly accept that You can run from your problems but you will take yourself with you

Oh yes my loves, forgiveness is not about what the other person does or says, it is all about you. When you offer the vibration of anger and blame, by allowing your thoughts to focus on another person’s flaws and sins, you will stay stuck and be unable to flourish. Its all about you. When you are able to start to see the good within everyone, when you are able to allow the Universe to send you the love you seek by releasing fear and anger, then you are ready to forgive. Forgiveness is not about patting someone on the back and saying, “Hey its okay that you hurt me and I’m OK with you doing it again”. No. Forgiveness is about you looking into their soul and saying, ” I know you don’t always act like it and that sucks but I can see the Divine in you and I love that part of you.”

It takes time and you should allow yourself to feel what you need to feel but then at some point you have to look at your situation and say to yourself, “Am I where I want to be? Am I allowing as much love as possible into my life? Can I see the love and truth within every person who I think has wronged me?” Once you’re ready to answer those questions honestly, then you are ready to forgive.

Blessings my loves.

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